time of my life.

Time really does pass you by when you're not noticing it.

That set me thinking while I was busy cleaning my room just now. Thinking about how my friend just celebrated her 20th birthday last week, set me back to reality that most of my friends are growing older - as in ageing with age? Errr, okay, that sounded wrong. They just are getting on the years not like how the old people are but in the sense that most of them are hitting the big 20!

I mean, soon, I'll be that age, and I'm NOT even prepared to age, much less 20!! I still think I'm 16 for heaven's sake! Still think I'm in secondary school, preparing for the Os and still thinking of wearing my school uniform and shoes, still thinks of going to the canteen, and also looking forward to taking the bus just in case that "special" somebody is on the bus with you.

Haha. Those were the days and I'm still stuck there. Though, I've like a Diploma cert waiting for me at the end of next year, I still feel, I need to do more, accomplish more, experience more. More what? I have no idea.

Around me, I can see many of my friends leaving for overseas, either for studies, or holidays, so even thinking of migration. And yes, I guess, everyone's growing more mature and wiser by the moment, waiting to take on life by the reins.

Me?

Well, *thinks for a moment* I have no idea. I have all these plans and yes, I'm sure they're good, but sometimes, you get the feeling that it'll not last you know? Like, its the "Before you know it, you're married with kids...", "Before you know it, you're hitting the big 50..."

Frankly, I'm scared shitless of what the future may hold for me. I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to face it. I mean, it'll be nice to be able to share these thoughts with that special someone. Making plans and such. Talking about the possibilities of a possibility. Working towards that goal together. Having ambitious careers and plans together. It'll so be nice to have someone to share them, not just parents. But yeah, I suppose, it'll be different with that special someone.

I'm trying to forget the fact that I want somebody special cos apparently, it doesn't seem to come to me.

I often asked the most random stuff to my one of my close friends and we ended laughing and jesting how our family may not just have the luck in love. Too head-strong and too career minded to think about love and stuff. I mean, seriously, its like of ALL the cousins in my family, like only ONE who is in his early twenties and is married. That too, there are some complications.

And the rest? I guess, they're just like me. I think. LOL!

Okay, I've to go now. Till tomorrow, see ya! (: