Friday, April 17, 2009

"Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But life looks different through everyone's eyes.”


It's ironic how it's number 2 on most people's list. Number 1 happens to be the fear of public speaking. And death, it's taken number 2.

For me personally, I'm not sure which is worst. To die and leave your loved ones forever with no form of contact - maybe in dreams? But then again, that's a bit far-fetched since I'm not sure how it goes. For all you know, it's the play of the sub-conscious mind on us. Or to humiliate yourself in front of many that may scarred you, prolly for the rest of your life and that it might affect your self-confidence to talk in front of people?

See, both are equally bad I suppose. One can never decipher or explain which is worst. At least, in my own brief explanation, I think I've summed up the general idea.

Death's never easy on the people. It leaves a permanent emotional scar in their hearts and that that empty void will always be there, no matter how long it's been. The saying, "Time heals all wounds" is such a major understatement. I suppose it's being coined to maybe ease a little bit of the pain? Maybe the pain would in some ways, subside, but it'll always be there when you visit places which holds a lot of memory. In some ways, you'll miss them and you'll still hope that their face, voices will still be remembered by you. And you dread the day when you start "losing" the face and maybe you'll forget how they sound like.

My grandmother was a noisy and pushy old woman, but despite that, she was hardworking and had a good sense of humour. Like a class clown of sorts. She was 78 and yet, she had left. It's really sad not to mention devastating that death could end her life so abruptly - she must've been thinking that she was still in the prime of my mom, my dad, my uncles, my auntys, wanting to provide many things for the family etc. Then again, like the saying, her fate was already written.

The dead or should I say, the departed wouldn't wanna us to mourn for them throughout our lives, putting a stop in our daily routine to mourn for them. They would (I think) want us to slowly to make our move on with life. They are indeed as hard as it is to say, part of the past now, nothing will ever bring them back to our present or our future. Maybe in dreams. But what's important is now and that the present holds much more. I'm not saying we can't mourn, but do not mourn excessively. It'll not only bring harm to you, but think of what the departed would say, when they see you in such a state.

Of course, words are easy to write, but the hardest part comes when it's being applied to reality. And as cliche as it may sound, I hope I'll stay strong and that I'm sure, my granns, is in a better place right now.

Rest in peace, granns.

Thursday, April 09, 2009


What is your True Fear?
Your Result: Where Your life is Going
You are a very determined and willful individual. You have strong set goals that you plan to reach no matter what.
You may be an overachiever at times but that's because you want to be successful in your life. The greatest accomplishment for you is when you reach a high goal. However, you constantly worry if you're not good enough to do something, or if your life doesn't go according to plan. You worry a lot about your future, and if it will meet all your high criteria. Don't worry, with your determination, and hard work ethic, and organization chances are things will go according to plan.
What is your True Fear?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Sometimes, these kind of things speak nothing but the truth. Oh wells.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

getting ready for school   ...not

This week, marks the last three weeks of the holidays which means once it's over, it'll mark the end of the holidays, and then make way for the semester which will commence on the 20th! And I totally cannot bring myself to the point that I spent my 10 weeks of holidays just like that. 70% on a not-so-exciting internship, and 30% on enjoyment. What an excruciating way to spend the holidays! Nonetheless, spending quality time with your loved one is all that matters, right?

Ahh, I can see your heads nodding in unison :D

So, for this whole week, I'm already filling up my schedules with things and lot more. I have to fully make use of this precious week before the mugging starts. And I'm guessing it won't be pretty. 

Before every new semester starts, I will always have a 50/50 feelings regarding my coming back to school, the half-heartedness towards school and what nots. However, this time, I'm kinda looking forward for school; more like erm, say, 70/30? And no, it's not about my meeting up new friends or even BFF in school. It has nothing to do with guys even. I know, I'm proud of myself too. HAHA. Come on, what or who to look at when I already have that special little one locked in my petite heart <3 *smiles dreamily, ahhh ~

It's just that spending my time studying in school would be more productive, rather than doing nothing at home, just watching the telly and hook up in front of the lappy.

Alright alright, I know that even when school has started, I would be more hooked up with the lappy, right? Oh wells.

On a side note, to be extreme would be packing my bag at this moment, which I will never do. It's just too weird and....extreme. Besides that, I'm kinda of starting to do some reading up for the new semester. HAHA. Like hardcore mugger right? It's just that the mods I'm taking seem so interesting and in a way, fun. Plus, I'm kinda gung-ho-ish to make the GPA score higher. My current, is humbly nice. But, a higher GPA won't hurt right? Moreover, a perfectionist, I am. Need I say more? :D

Plus, I already planned what to wear during the first week. I know, I'm sucha kiasu-pot. Oh wells. Planner must plan and can't stray away from planning. *jumps around in excitement!* But of course, things will change. My plans usually doesn't falls into place. Instead, something even more exciting might happen! Shall wait and see :D

*random starts*

Yesterday's window shopping trip has been quite fruitful and it still continuing. I mean, when does it ever stop? Or start for that matter, yes? :D

Suddenly, I feel the need for a new bag (which I really need. It's high time I changed it) . A new wallet. A new perfume (YES! new scent would be nice). New shoes (definitely will get them). New clothes (time for some online retail therapy!) New books (which I've been meaning to go down to the library to loan them). Well, they always say that you can never have enough of just one. HAHA.

We'll go shopping, or window shopping again soon alright my love? :D

*random ends*

Well, the point is, I miss school.

Those were the sunny good old days. And now, well, nothing's like that anymore. That's what you get when you get old with age and when the learning ladder gets higher. Can't complain, since it's the way things are.

The weather's cool and cold to sleep in or to snuggle in bed with a good book, and a cup of chilled chocolate milk. *dreamy sigh* And it's all gonna end in less than a month.

Life really have to go on.

Till then, goodbye.