Friday, April 17, 2009

"Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But life looks different through everyone's eyes.”

Death.

It's ironic how it's number 2 on most people's list. Number 1 happens to be the fear of public speaking. And death, it's taken number 2.

For me personally, I'm not sure which is worst. To die and leave your loved ones forever with no form of contact - maybe in dreams? But then again, that's a bit far-fetched since I'm not sure how it goes. For all you know, it's the play of the sub-conscious mind on us. Or to humiliate yourself in front of many that may scarred you, prolly for the rest of your life and that it might affect your self-confidence to talk in front of people?

See, both are equally bad I suppose. One can never decipher or explain which is worst. At least, in my own brief explanation, I think I've summed up the general idea.

Death's never easy on the people. It leaves a permanent emotional scar in their hearts and that that empty void will always be there, no matter how long it's been. The saying, "Time heals all wounds" is such a major understatement. I suppose it's being coined to maybe ease a little bit of the pain? Maybe the pain would in some ways, subside, but it'll always be there when you visit places which holds a lot of memory. In some ways, you'll miss them and you'll still hope that their face, voices will still be remembered by you. And you dread the day when you start "losing" the face and maybe you'll forget how they sound like.

My grandmother was a noisy and pushy old woman, but despite that, she was hardworking and had a good sense of humour. Like a class clown of sorts. She was 78 and yet, she had left. It's really sad not to mention devastating that death could end her life so abruptly - she must've been thinking that she was still in the prime of my mom, my dad, my uncles, my auntys, wanting to provide many things for the family etc. Then again, like the saying, her fate was already written.

The dead or should I say, the departed wouldn't wanna us to mourn for them throughout our lives, putting a stop in our daily routine to mourn for them. They would (I think) want us to slowly to make our move on with life. They are indeed as hard as it is to say, part of the past now, nothing will ever bring them back to our present or our future. Maybe in dreams. But what's important is now and that the present holds much more. I'm not saying we can't mourn, but do not mourn excessively. It'll not only bring harm to you, but think of what the departed would say, when they see you in such a state.

Of course, words are easy to write, but the hardest part comes when it's being applied to reality. And as cliche as it may sound, I hope I'll stay strong and that I'm sure, my granns, is in a better place right now.

Rest in peace, granns.
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