Wednesday, December 10, 2008

the imperfect perfectionist.

Have you ever the feeling of feeling so optimistic (I know it rarely happens, or maybe it does, but just work with me here okay?), and then, suddenly, out of nowhere, all the positive feelings, just go *poof!* into thin air. Leaving you with nothing, but badbad feelings?

Well, I did. Today. I'm never the optimistic person. I'm leaning towards being a pessimist, though, I do keep the optimistic near, just not that close.

I believe that if you think or anticipate the bad things in life, when it does happens, you won't feel the hurt or disappointment, cause in a way, you sort of plan for it already. I'm not saying, you have to be all anticipative of all things going bad. You can keep the hope (but not too much) about good things happening, but, the bad things usually hit/hurt us the most first.

You know, you'd do anything for the ones you love, even if they might be cranky, and many other not so nice stuff. But, when it just comes down to too much, and you can't help but wonder, "Why am I doing this? Is it out of obligation? Or just love?"

If it's "love", then, you sure do have a really big heart. Obligation seems a bit rough of a word to use? I mean, are we really obligated to the people we love? And if we are, in some ways, to what extend does the obligation ends? Where does it starts and ends?

I'm just thinking out loud. I mean, in every situation, you'd want to be on the positive side, and not think of the negativity that might affect the internal, delicate structure of a particular model. However, at times, being too optimistic, is bad. Not bad, bad. But, just bad. It's hard to explain, even now, I'm thinking how to put such thoughts across...delicately.

You know what, I'm done thinking. It's no use really, to approach a subject and not knowing where it'll go.

Humans are not perfect with their many faults that they do. And I'm no exception. We make mistakes, may it be intentionally or not, we still do. We may hurt them in countless of ways and though we cant turn back time, we can always seek for forgiveness. I'm one of the many people who may or may not intentionally harm your feelings. I am truly sorry if I may have offend you in any way. We after all, are not perfect.
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