thank you 2008.

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save" - Will Rogers

My, sometimes, it's a bit over-whelming at how time passes you by so fast. And it amazed me at how much I've grown as a person in a year, both intellectually, mentally and emotionally. How much I've succeeded in my studies in a year. How strong my relationships are with my friends and basically with everyone I know. Before we know it, 2009 will be right around the corner.

2008 has been very memorable. Memories that will stay with me forever. Memories that can't be undone. Memories that will shape my perceptions and expectations of people, things and the environment around me. Laughter I've laughed till I could just die of laughing. Few tears I've shed from disappointments and rejections. Regrets I wished I could take back and do right. The feel of pride that will stay with me forever. The undying need to be better, bigger dreams and to reach them will mould me.

School came in April and as quickly as it came, it ended quickly as well. Relationships were just beginning to unfold to something deeper, and alas, projects were on the way. Endless hours spent at the study room has now become a memory that brings laughter to my eyes and a smile that reminds me of how noisy I was with music blasting from the laptop, food that were smuggled into the room - pizzas, cakes, snacks, chocolates, and endless flow of drinks. How my sheer determination to actually do the project ends in slacking, gossiping on msn, watching movies and blogging. LOL.

Now? It's only a memory that I can look back and wished that I could do it all over again.

2008 gave me friends that I can safely call them my lifelong friends. One who has and will ever be my best friend. One who always will be there for me to lend his listening ear and am on the same wavelength as me. One who has been from afar my best friend, always ready to listen to rant about anything under the sun and who is able to keep my inner most secrets. One who always without a doubt teases me on MSN. These are definitely diamonds in the making. Even thinking about it, makes my heart swell with love and happiness just thinking about the sacrifices they made and everything that they had done for me. (:

Alas, 2008 will be coming to an end. And come the new year which would hold many things, hopes, dreams, all unknown to us, success and failures which would make us a better person, and being the person that we want to be. So, seeing that 2008 will come to an end, I have no regrets, instead I take each and every lesson with me throughout.

I'll miss 2008 and its memories. And now, I hope that 2009 will hold even better promises for me.

Goodbye 2008. You'll be missed dearly. Thank you for the memories.:D

I guess that there'll be double posts today, soon you'll know why.

The fact that I'm blogging now, not because that I've gotten my mojo back, but I just feel the need to write this down somewhere. So there.

-----





being daughter.


A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. -Author Unknown

Can I beg to differ? ):<


being THE ONLY daughter ..

• means I've to put up the curtains in the hall since my brothers are probably working, or doing something that is deeemed so important -.-
• means I've to vacuum the whole house, sweep the floor and to mop the floor before the big carpet can be put.
• means I've to prepare the table before every meal - hot tea or coffee or whatever drinks and the plates have to be ready.
• means I had to wake up early in the morning to go to the market so that I'll be able to get the food stuff for my mom to cook.
• means I have to endure the criticisms of my really bad way of sweeping the floor with leaves dust behind somehow.
• means I've to constantly clean and clear my study table which now, doesn't quite resemble one.
• means I've to serve guests drinks and actually talk to them without being labelled as arrogant -.-
  

Well, it means I've my obligated daughter-ly duties to fill. Period.

Being the only daughter, I have many responsibilities that I am obligated to do and to carry out. There are countless times when they would automatically call out for me to fetch a glass of water, or to pick them up from the market where they are shopping from, no matter how tired I am.  From the littlest things to major stuff, I can say that I would always without fail and without complain when I do all those things.

I realized that being the only daughter, means there may be at times when I have to sacrifice what I want to do most, just have to get in the good books of people. Yeah, it's actually that bad.


Although this may not be the case for everyone. Sometimes when a Mother has only boys, well, she can only rely on them to help her with the daily chores right? Either way, being daughter has it's expectations and obligations. It is just different from sons.


Hell, I'm blabbering again.

Well, I guess, it's for my understanding. If you don't, then don't bother to.

Anyway, I don't wanna seem like an emotional basket case, so I shan't pursue it even further. 





A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. -Irish Saying

I couldn't agree more.

slow days.

Don't we all?

Or maybe for some, don't.

But, mostly everyone does right? =X



I'm waiting for 2009 (:

will you take me away to a better place?

I wanna blog but as of this moment, I'm too dazed or rather the lack of drive has caused me to not write the post that I wanna write about.

So there.

Maybe I'll blog well about the celebrations and stuff when I get my mojo back :D

Till then, seeee ya!



7 more days(:

place to hide.

If you're lonely anytime
You can talk to me
When you have trouble on your mind
I will always be
Here to shield you from it all
The best way that I can
Anything you want from me

Call me day
Call me night
Call me anytime you need someone to hold you
The tears in your eyes
Will be gone, they will dry
And if you still find that you can't face the world outside
Let me be your place to hide

I could always lie to you
If that's what you need
Tell you life is never cruel
And people never leave
But love is not always kind
And hearts break all the time
And even if I'm far from you

Call me day
Call me night
Call me anytime you need someone to hold you
The tears in your eyes
Will be gone, they will dry
And if you still find that you can't face the world outside
Let me be your place to hide

Little corner of the world is what I give to you
Somewhere you can find some peace and understanding
Life can be so sweet

Call me day
Call me night
Call me anytime you need someone to hold you
The tears in your eyes
Will be gone, they will dry
And if you still find that you can't face the world outside
Let me be your place to hide

Let me be your place to hide

-this song's for you, redranger(:

it was almost perfect.

It all started with a simple message through an sms.

It was unbelievable. With new information about anything and everything, I can't help but to admit that it certainly surpassed my expectations. Like totally. And it was again, awesome.

It'll be hard for me to sum up everything in this space but, yes, a few words should just be enough to give the mental picture of that day itself.

I loved every minute and moment of it and I would love to re-live it again and again and again.

This is one happening Christmas for me. Hopefully, the next coming week would be the same too.

Thank you(:

" The most eloquent silence;
that of two mouths meeting in a kiss."

- Unknown

hohoho, merry christmas !


Finally, its the season to be jolly and merry. With those turkey and loads of log cakes to eat, it's no wonder everyone's loving Christmas. :D

Well, this year for Christmas, I've decided not to exchange any gifts with anyone, maybe I'll make some exceptions? Haha. Main reason being, I'm not working, and I'm frigging broke. I'm really really on a tight budget. =( But, hey, don't fret if you had bought me something, I mean, it's not really about the gifts and what's inside right? It's the thought that counts! :D


So, much apologies to you kind souls who thought of mean me. But, I'll make it up to you somehow alright? *insert sinister laugh* :D 

Well, its Christmas tomorrow and hopefully, the telly has good shows to air till evening at least, else, I'll be sleeping in my bed as per usual. Oh gosh, I really got to break this sleeping habit of mine!  I know, I'm a known sleep-aholic!=X

random starts.

Sometimes, I will feel lonely. I have no idea why, but it's just like that. Like, when I take a train/bus ride home, sometimes, it kinda dawns on me what I'm lacking. 

Well, I thought I'm more like the girl whom isn't worth a second look. The girl who is more likely seen with a book, or just barely noticing people there. It's kinda nice to have someone to call you up and ask you how's your day or something. Message you sweet messages that you can smile all the way home. Stuff like that, you know.=S

random ends.

Okay, that was pretty random. Must be the season of love and hope yes? HAHA. 


Alrightey, I guess, that's about it. So start singing your Christmas carols, and have a very Merry Christmas! :D

randoms.

Dad: So what's the problem, Sammy? Is it just Mum or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?

Sam: You really want to know?

Dad: I really want to know.

Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?

Dad: Even if that's the case, yeah.

Sam: OK. The truth is actually... I'm in love.

Dad: Sorry?

Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.

Dad: Aren't you a bit young to be in love?

Sam: No.

Dad: Oh, OK, right. Well, I'm a little relieved.

Sam: Why?

Dad: Well, you know - I thought it might be something worse.

Sam: Worse than the total agony of being in love?

Dad: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.


how true. 

I LIKE THIS PICTURE! (although it's blurry, SYTH AH! =X)

eh  purple, you really look like a monster, but a cute one! HAHA. =X

tick tock.

Time sure pass by really fast these days.

Before you know it, its already the 18th of December and tomorrow marks the LAST day of me being in Singapore and then, I'll be overseas for a week. And NO, it will not be a blast. =X

Things have been pretty hectic at home lately, with the washing of my wardrobe, changing of my room's curtains, washing of the laundry and the polishing of furniture. It's really tiring but yet, you don't feel the sweat nor the tiredness in you. Probably due to the fact that it's only done once a in a blue moon and that's because I feel the need to do so. Not exactly my cup of tea in cleaning but yeah, somebody's gotta do it, it's an obligation, especially, when you're a girl.

Okay, updates now. Been too busy to actually sit down and type whatever comes to mind. Haven't been seeing anyone online lately, just the usual suspects. Everyone's busy. So yeah.

Currently, I've been disturbed by the fact that there has been many many sales and I'm not part of it! Also, its like GOOD BUYS! Darn it! Okay, I'll go sooooon. Once the trip is over. YAY in advance!

Darn, Mum's calling me again-.- I guess, that's about my entry now. Kinda abrupt. But, hey, Christmas is coming, so, it's mainly what to wear, who to impress and what to say. So, till tomorrow, I guess, I'll write my LAST entry before the celebrations. Because, I'm foreseeing many many days of not updating.

Till then.

:D

I was too tired to blog about the ParallaxX outing yesterday and with the headache that I am currently having, I'm gonna do it now.

How do I even go about starting yesterday? It was awesome in soooo many ways! Despite the so called "last minute and unexpected" plan, it was truly enjoyable. :D

I thought I was late due to the interview I had earlier on, but I guess its okay, since eventually, everyone turned up. :D Had dinner over at a not-so-classy restaurant, with all the dishes being laid on the table. Had a lot of laughs from Syth about almost everything. HAHA. But, hell yeah, it was awesome!

Basically, for the whole night, we were in constant chatting, yakking, laughing and talking non-stop. Talking about the most mundane things to serious stuff, but mainly crap lah. Haha, of which, we hadn't been talking lately. I shan't elaborate about the bowling. I'll save that for the next post. There's a lot to talk about that issue. You'll see what I mean, soon. =P

I was so beat when I reached home. But, it was worth it. Every second, minute, hour and those little moments, I enjoyed and loved it. We should do it again alright? No need some fancy restaurant, just good and reasonably priced food and great company. So, anyone planning the next one? I'm so IN! :D

Okay, I'm tired. I think I'm having the flu bug. Darn.

Gonna have an early night today. Gotta pack my suitcase tomorrow for my not-looking-forward overseas trip. Grrrrr.

Till then, goodnight and goodbye.

c'est la vie.

Dressed in Zara's black formal shirt, with black pants, and black canvas shoes, all ready to embark on a new journey; a plan that has been consulted and thought of carefully; a plan that will be implemented in due course; a plan that's totally unexpected to me; a plan completely foreign to me.

The only way in which I'm voicing my emotions is through here. I can't bring myself to tell someone. It may be too mundane of an issue to trouble someone.

But to me, well, it's a HUGE issue.

I'll stop here. I can't go on no more. I don't know what to think anymore. I guess, moving forward's the only way. There's no turning back.

I need to talk to somebody, anybody who will understand.

In the mean time, just be strong nurul!

little miss fickle!

No amount of words can sum up the happiness bubbling in me. Why, you may ask?

Because I finally, succumb to having a makeover of my room after a long time contemplating as to whether I should or not. Well, after seeing how my brother have been revamping his own room, makes me green with envy. So decided to change it. CHANGES ARE GOOD!

Agreed? Yeah, me too. I can see your heads nodding in unison. =P

It's gonna be quite a refreshing and warm theme, I'd say. Pretty unique in its own way. Though, I'm still in the midst of deciding the colours, the decorations, the patterns, the everything! And yeah I'm still finding for the 'right' decisions. =X

I know, I'm fussy. So they ALL tell me.

HAHA. goooooodnight goooooodmorning people! :D

Like the proverb, "Books and friends should be few but good"

There's something about keeping my social circle small especially with the friends that I'm really comfortable about just being myself; no façade, no thinking twice about how saying something could affect the other party, and just about plainly being myself, no matter how boring at times I may sound.

So, to my friends that have been there for me in times of trouble, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

and redranger, we'll talk cock again someday! :D (don't worry, I won't speak french. HAHA.)

Happy holidays!

the imperfect perfectionist.

Have you ever the feeling of feeling so optimistic (I know it rarely happens, or maybe it does, but just work with me here okay?), and then, suddenly, out of nowhere, all the positive feelings, just go *poof!* into thin air. Leaving you with nothing, but badbad feelings?

Well, I did. Today. I'm never the optimistic person. I'm leaning towards being a pessimist, though, I do keep the optimistic near, just not that close.

I believe that if you think or anticipate the bad things in life, when it does happens, you won't feel the hurt or disappointment, cause in a way, you sort of plan for it already. I'm not saying, you have to be all anticipative of all things going bad. You can keep the hope (but not too much) about good things happening, but, the bad things usually hit/hurt us the most first.

You know, you'd do anything for the ones you love, even if they might be cranky, and many other not so nice stuff. But, when it just comes down to too much, and you can't help but wonder, "Why am I doing this? Is it out of obligation? Or just love?"

If it's "love", then, you sure do have a really big heart. Obligation seems a bit rough of a word to use? I mean, are we really obligated to the people we love? And if we are, in some ways, to what extend does the obligation ends? Where does it starts and ends?

I'm just thinking out loud. I mean, in every situation, you'd want to be on the positive side, and not think of the negativity that might affect the internal, delicate structure of a particular model. However, at times, being too optimistic, is bad. Not bad, bad. But, just bad. It's hard to explain, even now, I'm thinking how to put such thoughts across...delicately.

You know what, I'm done thinking. It's no use really, to approach a subject and not knowing where it'll go.

Humans are not perfect with their many faults that they do. And I'm no exception. We make mistakes, may it be intentionally or not, we still do. We may hurt them in countless of ways and though we cant turn back time, we can always seek for forgiveness. I'm one of the many people who may or may not intentionally harm your feelings. I am truly sorry if I may have offend you in any way. We after all, are not perfect.

'tis the season to be jolly ~


Well well well, it's finally the season that everyone will be jolly about. Either its the process of shopping high-low for the perfect gift for that perfect somebody, finding gifts that would fit well into your tight budget for your friends, wrapping the gifts with colourful wrapping paper that it's almost a sin to have it torn apart, the action of exchanging gifts that would make make someone happy or just making something from scratch and exchange it to someone which of course would be more satisfying.

I haven't buy anything for anyone yet this year, particularly I'm not working and I'm saving for a quite a lot of other important things before I start my next year. So, I decided to get down to basics. Yeah, perhaps, I'm going to give some stuff to my closest friends. So, wait for it yeah! :D

I guess, with the Christmas mood being infected to me, I'm more on a light mood now, rather than yesterday. But I'm still sore from time to time. I've yet to decide. Anyways, I wont be putting any negativity in here. Shall save it for tomorrow.

Gosh, I'm such a pessimist nowadays. It's like I'm overflowing with negativity, finding faults here and there. It's as if nothing is ever right anymore. One has friends but none keep in contact. Contact is being kept to a minimum and occasionally, the usual updates. Meetings are becoming more of a sacred thing, since meeting is like so difficult to make. So, meetings are usually a big thing lah. Something I look forward to.

To make up for that negativity in me, I've settled to be in complete solitude, little contact with people. Already had plans to watch movies alone, cause firstly, there's no one to watch it with; to go shopping alone, cause secondly, there's no one to shop with except me and myself?, and yeah, I guess, that's about it. HAHA.

---

Hmmmm, so what's on my social calendar?

Next weekend is my cousin's engagement and wedding - something, I'm so dreading to go. Well, the fact that she's young and still have so much potential, just doesn't suit me. But, oh well, what's love right? Christmas would be spent alone I suppose, unless someone is willing to date me out? HAHA. And then, there's next next Monday, I would be going on an overseas trip with Yahsee for shopping! :D Well, that's my social calendar, if you even call that a social calendar.

And, please don't mind me, I'll be most probably blogging frequently now since I've nothing to do. What can I say, a lot of things just happen to be flooding this head of mine. So, even if you don't see me everyday, well, you can roughly know what my thoughts are or how was my day. So, I guess, saves the time of you having to put up with my ever so boring antics on the MSN. Something good I'd say. Saves the trouble. HAHA.

Okay, I guess,this is it. Till then, see ya(:

natural justice?

Something lead me thinking about many times where I've been most giving and the times when I'm suppose to be the receiver, well, it just wasn't.

I'm nothing the sort where I expect something in return, hell, I gave up on that after some bad memories. But sometimes, when certain dates do come around, well, sometimes, you just want to go ahead and help just to make it a more wonderful day for that extra special person.

But but but...

When I look back at the years that they forgot, well, sometimes, it brings me down to the cold harsh reality NOT to hope anything cause firstly, words are ONLY words. They don't make actions come true. Unless of course, work is being put into it. Secondly, if you hope too much, it'll only end up hurting yourself, crying over something that won't even come true. Thirdly, it really reminds one how insignificant one can be treated especially by people you call your circle in which you roam.

So, it set me thinking whether do people whom you consider in your circle actually wear a disguise? I mean, my so called "ex-best friend", wore one. I think she would literally forget me once she's done with school or rather, when we meet, there'll be some form of awkwardness and there'll be forced conversation asking about the most mundane things.

I didn't say I was the perfect friend. I didn't say I don't wear masks or disguises. You know, in class I'm different; at home I'm different; and outside I'm different too. But sometimes, I feel as if I have given way too much and when it's actually my turn to receive, there's only hurt and disappointment. Of course, the hurt and disappointment doesn't linger nor does it lasts long but sometimes, it does come back to remind me what in reality happened and that with my adding the extra leg of effort, it just doesn't seem fair at times.

I guess, what a friend has been telling me, is painfully true. But no matter what, I've learnt not to expect from people cause I may never know when they may go breaking my hopes and the only thing to expect from them are the hurt, betrayal and utter disappointment that comes with them. I've learnt how to open myself to them and certainly, shutting myself away will be automatic. Why waste so much of my effort, when it comes to my time, I won't be receiving the red carpet treatment?

RAWRRR.


come and save me from this field of uncertainty, will you?

multiple choices.

No one told me it's gonna be this HARD.
No one told me it's gonna be this LONELY.
No one told me the process of choosing is a GRUELLING one.
No one told me that I have to CHOOSE.
No one told me that I'll be caught in this fix.
No one told me about the financial burden.
No one told me that I have to make the decision MYSELF.
No one told me that I have to GROW UP.
No one told me that time is against me.
No one told me that the decision will mould my FUTURE.

However, GRUELLING it may be, I'm hoping for a miracle that I'll be shown the right decision and that there'll be no regrets.


Till then, let me have my peace in my thoughts.



p/s: stand by me while I make the decision. show me the light at the end of my dark endless tunnel of confusion and loneliness.

i want it that way.

I want a movie romance.


I want to fall in love, and find my soulmate.


But more than anything, I want a kiss that subconsciously causes my leg to lift. 


Unfortunately, I still harbour "fairytale" like scenes in my head amidst the liberal and modernist views of life.

HAHA.

I know, I'm a walking contradiction.

goooooooodnight. (:

sierra alpha delta ):

I'm quite saddened by the turn of events that happened today. My granns just admitted to hospital under the Coronary Care Unit(CCU). And, it really seems so surreal that it was during the last week that she was in my room, looking perfectly fine.

Doctor's diagnosis was that her heart wasn't functioning too good, and is susceptible to heart failure, anytime. Looking at her, with the oxygen nose tube hanging at her nose in between her ears, really pierced my heart. The feeling of sorry as well as guilt build up within me. Only God knows what I was feeling at that time.

----

I want to be able to stand still with my arms wide open with the wind blowing against me and just not think about anything and everything. I want to be able to hear the silence once again. I want to be able to be in the state of solitude.

Give me the solitude. Give me the freedom. Give me the sense of being free from anything and everything please.

I'm in real need of my friends' hugs, listening to them rant, bitch and just about anything and everything.


I'm tired. I'm really really tired):


Tomorrow's another day. I hope I'll be strong for what lies ahead of me. 

time of my life.

Time really does pass you by when you're not noticing it.

That set me thinking while I was busy cleaning my room just now. Thinking about how my friend just celebrated her 20th birthday last week, set me back to reality that most of my friends are growing older - as in ageing with age? Errr, okay, that sounded wrong. They just are getting on the years not like how the old people are but in the sense that most of them are hitting the big 20!

I mean, soon, I'll be that age, and I'm NOT even prepared to age, much less 20!! I still think I'm 16 for heaven's sake! Still think I'm in secondary school, preparing for the Os and still thinking of wearing my school uniform and shoes, still thinks of going to the canteen, and also looking forward to taking the bus just in case that "special" somebody is on the bus with you.

Haha. Those were the days and I'm still stuck there. Though, I've like a Diploma cert waiting for me at the end of next year, I still feel, I need to do more, accomplish more, experience more. More what? I have no idea.

Around me, I can see many of my friends leaving for overseas, either for studies, or holidays, so even thinking of migration. And yes, I guess, everyone's growing more mature and wiser by the moment, waiting to take on life by the reins.

Me?

Well, *thinks for a moment* I have no idea. I have all these plans and yes, I'm sure they're good, but sometimes, you get the feeling that it'll not last you know? Like, its the "Before you know it, you're married with kids...", "Before you know it, you're hitting the big 50..."

Frankly, I'm scared shitless of what the future may hold for me. I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to face it. I mean, it'll be nice to be able to share these thoughts with that special someone. Making plans and such. Talking about the possibilities of a possibility. Working towards that goal together. Having ambitious careers and plans together. It'll so be nice to have someone to share them, not just parents. But yeah, I suppose, it'll be different with that special someone.

I'm trying to forget the fact that I want somebody special cos apparently, it doesn't seem to come to me.

I often asked the most random stuff to my one of my close friends and we ended laughing and jesting how our family may not just have the luck in love. Too head-strong and too career minded to think about love and stuff. I mean, seriously, its like of ALL the cousins in my family, like only ONE who is in his early twenties and is married. That too, there are some complications.

And the rest? I guess, they're just like me. I think. LOL!

Okay, I've to go now. Till tomorrow, see ya! (:

almost. 

I nearly fainted in the bus while on the way home today.






soooo much for greentea and snickers for the day. grrrrrr

*insert whole list of vulgarities here*

It's the epitome of the worst and upmost terrible Wednesday I've had. And that spells F-U-C-K. ahhh, damn it.

ANYWAY,

sometimes, it pays to have really really grrrrrreeaat friends who takes the initiative to cheer you up, even if they have to travel just to cheer you up in the most simplest ways possible.

As low as I was feeling, you are like my Prince in his black armour to come to save me of what's left of me. I didn't regret taking up your offer at the LAST minute to chill at your house - you still remembered me! You're such a sweetie. It was indeed a fantastic evening, not to mention the MEGA MAC and fries. Yum yum. And not forgetting the company - YOU! You really cheered me up and talking all the funny things, especially the STOMP thingy. :D

Also, a shout out to my mighty redranger! Gosh, I think you're like one of the best listeners I've ever met in my whole entire life. No kidding! If not for you, I would had left long time ago. Plus, I really enjoyed gossiping about Nick's hairstyle, and how hot he is in the MVs! Sooo, thank you very muccchh! :D

I guess that's for tonight. I'm beat but yet, an odd feeling of satisfaction still lingers on. And, I'm still smiling away despite the not-so-good day I had earlier.

Thanks a million purple, l3ella and mighty redranger(:


Till then, bloop away.

life's reflection.

There are at times when amidst friends and people whether in school or anywhere I am,I always feel alone. I'm not sure why. But, it's like people are going about in their lives and here I am, seeing or rather looking at them in a different view. Like standing outside their window and staring in.

How I wish that I'm not walking home alone home from school. How I'm not going to the library alone to find comfort in the silence and the solitude. How I know I'm not going to eat breakfast at Delifrance alone. How I wish, there'll be that phone call or message that I'm waiting for. How I wish...


It's a wonderful feeling to be alone; to be away from the rest. Then again, sorrows and loneliness could be overpowering them.


But wishes are wishes and they'll always remain that way. They have been that way since the beginning of time, and it'll remain the same for the next lifetimes to come. Sometimes you wish that there is something else than home-school-home-school. And you just hope that there is something to look forward to other than being such a school junkie. Someone whom you can talk to on the phone at night, be it mindless chatter or just talk. Someone who believes in you when others won't. Someone whom you know will be at the other end, just waiting to hear you out. Just someone.

I'm keeping to myself lately these few days. I don't know why, but I am. What for to speak your mind out when nobody listens. They always hear you, but never listen. I'm just too tired. It's easier to go with the flow like a jellyfish and have someone take over the reigns once in a while. It sucks major big time, but it's a break for me.

Someone asked me lately, "Are you and ______(person's name) close friends?" Thinking about it, I figured out that my definition of that is very deep. And I think I do not have any "close friends" at all. It doesn't mean that if I spend most of my time with a certain person, that doesn't automatically make us close. To me, it holds a deeper level of understanding and commitment.

I'm just so worn out during the week, and I'm even worn out over the weekend, either way, I'm thoroughly worn out. Prolly that's why I keep to myself much these days. Three upcoming UTs, spread all for the week.(thank god one's down) You know, I'm just gonna stop everything and just have an early night for tonight. I'm tired. I'm so tired, I can just break down and cry =(

Well, I'm such a miserable person, no? Yeah, I guess some things does that to you.

the other side of life.


I've realized that I'm writing more and more on the down side of life lately. I'm not sure why I'm coming up with such posts.

I'm quite envious when I read friends' blogs and they seem to have the life that I want or rather the life that I can only plan but only hope that it might go well. How I envy them who still have the time of day to spend time with their friends and go shopping, well, do anything not related to school. How I envy them with such good time management. And how I feel sick to the bone not being able to live that line too.

I don't like having the feeling that while doing something else, I'm being or constantly bound to school. I'm not gonna lie and say that life's great and such. It's not. It's tough and I'm scared as if I'm standing at the edge of the plank - with any sudden movement, and I'm thrown off board. The feeling where you constantly have to make sure you're at least on par with everyone else. the feeling that you have to know or understand a concept, a chapter, a fomula to avoid the impression that you are lagging behind.

I'm always looking foward to the weekends more than I'm looking forward to the school week, much less time with my friends. Yeah, even when I'm out with friends, I still think about school. I think about the upcoming UTs that have yet to finished. I think about the revision that I could have done. I think about the all the school stuff that I have to post online. Half the time I'm looking at my watch and hope that it'll end soon, and half the time, I want it to never end. I want the feel of having to do something relating to school. I feel so guilty of the many many conflicting thoughts that are constantly running in my head. Part of me want to just have fun, good social fun. But the other part of me stands firm on the things that I have to do. I can't possibly stay at home and be devoted to purely academic life.

Tried as I might, I do want to update on something exciting, something positive for once. but I can't bring myself to do it. It's hard not to say the things that are just right in front of your face. It's easy for someone to tell you, "You need to get out. Have fun. Let your hair down." And it's also hard to actually apply the concept to reality.

I suppose it's the semester that's been getting at everyone. And like everyone, I guess, we're keeping a strong front that we're managing well however badly we're crumbling on the inside. Trying to make stay the crumbles that are falling apart and trying to pick up the fallen crumbles.

A three week break is coming and it's like just right round the corner. Usually, I'll be planning what to do, who would be involved and such. How I miss that girl who always looks forward to the holidays she'll have and her generous spirit to share the joy to family and friends. And now, I see myself trying hard to get down and over with. Not exactly the attitude I am hoping for. But, it's a break, and well, I think I deserve to have that eagerness to celebrate and welcome it.

Till then, all the best for the upcoming UTs.




The question is whether I'll be able to detach myself from school life and actually live the life outside school.

true.

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me

you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
mmmm

I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster
 
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so I will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you meant me!

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

For the service of mankind.

A very big thank you to mr. redranger(: and my super duper cool kan-chiong spider bee friend.

With lots of love,
-nurul

KA-CHING !

 

HAHA! Okay, I was pondering lately on the things that I wanted to buy. Then again, everytime I think of this, I would be reminded of Randy Pausch's brick walls. As a matter of fact, I made myself a little more confused, and kept procrastinating on buying the items. 

Yes, I know and am aware that I'd already spent a bomb on online shopping, but I've stopped, for the time being at least. 

EDIT- 

OKay, I just realised that I spent more than $400 online. =X The last thing I bought was a pair of Old Navy jeans shorts. That was seriously not my fault. REALLY LAA.  It was on sale! 70% SALE! Who wouldn't want to miss right? 

*evil laughs*

Anyhoo, I hereby pronounce officially bankrupt! =(

cya! (YOU ALL DON'T TEMPT ME AH!)

Lying on my bed.
With nothing to read.(my books aren't ready for collection! =\)
Nothing to watch.
And no one to talk to. (there is lah, but lazy-.-)


And I can't help but feel Free from the threat..
of something I can't quite put my finger on.

I hate how time takes away all the details
and leaves you with so little. 

I don't know what makes me the way I am. I always end up not recognizing significant moments of my life while they're happening. I grow complacent with things or ideas or people. And I take them for granted. And its usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from me that I realize how much it really matters.
That I realize how much I really need it; how much I love it.

 

 

On a side note, here's a little conversation of me and ANdyStorm. (click click)

That's so cute of him right? LOL. 

See ya! (:

I saw familiar faces lately, I wonder why.

Red bull isn't working, Black Coffee doesn't help, what now?


TIREDWEARYEXHAUSTEDWORNOUTDRAINEDFATIGUEANDSHATTERED.

Oh, I need rest. cya. =(

Status: Annoyed.
Status: Mad.
Status: Pissed!

Here's a little fact about myself: I don't sleep much nowadays. I stayed up late until the wee hours in the morning. Not because I don't want to, it's only that my body I guess kinda rejects it. So when I actually do sleep; like every other person in this world, I appreciate some peace and quiet.

But NOOO!

My dad walks in, to get some needles and thread to sew his pants.
My mom storms in, helping my dad, and made a commotion about it TWICE!
My granny comes in and out (okay, she does that everytime cos she shares the room with me -.-) and keep humming non-stop for no reason!

So finally, I decided that I'm going to hang a big sign on my door that says:

I'm Sleeping, Have some Respect.

But what I really wish I could hang goes something like:

I'm Sleeping, So FUCK OFF!!

Now wouldn't that be fun? But I think if I wrote something like that; my mom would immediately take me to a shrink, saying that I probably have some major unresolved anger issues. (which I don't, but am already showing some I suppose)

Hmm that makes me wonder.. Do I? No, my only problem is that I think and I think and I think and I analyze shit and I really need to take a break from analyzing shit and people.

So as a result to all of the above of course I woke up early this morning, and decided that instead of sitting at home and doing nothing (and by nothing I mean lay down and do nothing of course) that I should go to out and have a jog, and just you know run for the sake of it.

But in the end, I didn't, cos the weather's too good to have such a looooongg nice nap. (after the whole incident was over of course).


p/s: I just realised my post(s) have been dull and wordy lately, but heck! =X

Pictures will be uploaded soon! :D

As for now, anyone wants to dine in @ modesto's vivo? My brother kinda got promoted, and is entitled to 50% discount total bill I think? (:

Quick updates :D

Saturday was tremendously awesome! Let's do it again someday, okay? And Terence, thanks for the being our personal chaffeur. Next time, we go shopping together alright? :D (provided we pay for the petrol kkk? )

Sunday was alright, but I can say that my aunty's cooking have improved ALOT! The rendang daging was so sedappp that I can't stop eating them. Tambah 5 times like no one's business! GELOJOH RIGHT, I KNOW!!! =X

Alrightey, update soon, when I return from my PP presentation on Wednesday. ALL THE FREAKING BEST TO ME! :D

I was supposed to be RJ-ing and reading more on contract law but, here I am B-L-O-G-G-I-N-G. Yes, blogging. Expressions such as terms, conditions, representation,warranty, .... (and I can swear the list goes on and on and on just like the wheels of the bus which goes round and round-.-)  are running wild inside my mind, and is trying very hard to decipher which is which.

Oh wells, Law UT 1 grade shall be an eye opener to me, of course. And to all who didn't do well, don't be discouraged; as "Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm"- Abraham Lincoln.

On a side note, all the best in crafting your PP poster for the presentation at the end of the month.

BYE! (:

p/s: stomach have not been acting well lately, =(

HELLO EARTHLINGS.

I guess it's time to really update myself on how I'm doing.

First and foremost! wishing a SELAMAT HARI RAYA to all muslims out there, and forgive me for all the sins that I may intentionally or unintentionally made towards you for the past year, alright?

Anyway, first day of raya was alrighto. Only thing that my feet damn freaaking hurts cos apparently, the heels, YES HEELS, I'm wearing was taking advantage of me. And as a result, 3 huge blisters. For that, I think I'll never going to appreciate the beauty of wearing heels at all. =\

Speaking about  this heels issue, I just don't know why typical women now do wear heels as though they are wearing slippers! -.- And once, I even saw this woman wearing a 4-5 inch heels, RUNNING to catch the bus at a nearby bus stop. HOW CAN THAT BE FREAKING POSSIBLE?! I can't even stand and walk properly on a 3-inch heel, and this woman can run with it! PRO-NESS!

I've been so freaking tired despite having 8 hours of sleep. I have no idea why, but prolly because I sleep too short/long? SHEEEESH! UTs have beeen killing me slowly, slicing every single slice of my time. AND AND, this semester modules are DAMN POWER TO THE MAX, making me squeezing every single brain juice I have left in my brain. PP poster, have yet to start on it, and plus the tons of imcomplete assignments at home which was left untouched for 1 week or so.

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!

I shall just end this post abruptly as I'm not in the mood to carry on.


p/s I think I got food poisoning man, and that spell F-U-C-K! =(

Perhaps, life's really unfair.

True friends?

I've yet to have one.  How about you?

I just felt the need to write this down, somewhere, anywhere.

Something is not right, and I have no idea why. I just felt so empty. Suddenly, school matters sooo fucking much to me, in a way that I really want to do well in this semester. I want to get good grades, score damn fucking well for UTs, and also have an overall good impression.

Five modules this semester and they are not that bad after all, besides the fact that there were already words of complaints of the module as well as some of the facis, in which I think is totally unnecessary.

"If you don't care about your grades, but you hate getting Cs and Ds everytime, you can either do something about it or you can just SCREW YOURSELF. In the end, you're the one at the losing end, not the faci, not me. PERIOD." -nurul

ANYWAY, I feel that I'm not doing my best at all in all of the modules. Mainly because I'm easily distracted, with tonnes of things like FACEBOOK!, and of course the people around me too. Well, I'm not saying they are bad influences or what; it's just that these things within the environment, has influenced me alot.

I spent the evening in the library, pondering, clearing my thoughts on certain things while searching for some stuffs,  but all that came out was disappointments, and more disappointments. Worse still, the words came from ______ earlier on kept repeating in my mind, like a tape recorder, with the repeat button on.

I can't sleep in the bus either, and the songs in my mp3 list ain't helping as somehow it sensed that I'm in low spirits, thus playing emo songs after emo songs, again and again though it's on random mode.

I do treasure my life, and I want it to be the best. And that's why I'm going to do something about it. Thanks alot _____, for giving that wonderful short speech that made me realise that things doesn't falls right into place.

Alrightey, that's all.



p/s: and thanks siti ! (:

I'M DOWN WITH THROAT INFECTION
AND HIGH FEVER ! D: 

(gonna miss school for 2 days T.T)

 And my laptop LCD screen is giving problems. HELP! =(

LET ME GIVE YOU A SNEAK PEAK OF
WHAT'S INSIDE MY HEAD NOW =\

AHH yess, its aching like nobody's business now and it's freaking painful laaaaa! I think its because of the rain on last friday. Butbut, I was absolutely alright yesterday, and event got time to go out -.- WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Anyhow, I wanted to blog about my new wallet!  ~~~

It's pure blackkk in colour, with pretty red patterns! I bought blackk nail polish toooo! Will post up some pictures when I paint them! :D:D

Actually, I just wanted to boast about my newww wallet, because I don't own a proper wallet till like now? Yeah, I'm not a rich man's daughter, unfortunately. =X

Alrightey, time for your highness to get some precious sleeeep. Byeeeeee :D

 

NURUL IS OFFICIALLY BACK TO SCHOOL! 3 full solid days and counting. All I can say is MAN, it was damn exhausting! Nutrition was alright, except for the fact that Sheema's accent was toooooooooooo strong for us to understand. And I swear, she talks superrrrr slowwww, and draggy.

LAW WAS A KILLER MODULE! =X I wonder how lawyers survived studying this, they must be a whole bunch of geniuses! Well, I just hoped that things will be better in the upcoming weeeeeeks. :D

MANAGEMENT WAS ALRIGHT, except Hilario wasnt as hilarious as what I expected. I think he looked like our very own MOE lor. With the same hairstyle, and the same shiny-ness. oops =X  BUTBUT bald men are HOT OKAY! lol

E54N is okay. Classmates are nice, I supposed. YEAH MAN. :D

Alrightey, have a greaaaatttt weekend dudes and dudettes! 

Today will be the last day of my holidays. It is both sad and happy occasion. Alright,sad because I gotta wake up super early to go to school, and squeeze in the freaking 168 in the early morning. UGHH. And happy because, gonna have new classmates in E54N, with both my two new electives in! YAY-NESS! 

SNEAK PEEK AT MY NEW TIMETABLE ~

AHH, yes. I'll be schooling for the whole week. No more breaks on wednesday. YAY! I mean at least PP stress is over, I guess there won't be anything much to do. I see no harm in going school an extra day to gain some knowledge, rightttt. I know I am. HAHA.

Alrightey, on the very last note before I turn in (note: now its 2323hours!) I found this :

A great picture mann. All I got to do is FOCUS. Focus on the next semester modules, cos I think I've got great facis to facilitate my class. :D A'ssssss here I come!

BYE earthlings(:

HELLOHELLOHELLO! :D

A quick update  ~ Don't worry, I'm still alive and kicking. :D Anyway, I was randomly surfing the net these few days. Mostly about life related issues, current affairs, and gender in/equality too! And I found something interesting, which is the 7 SECRETS TO SUCCESS !

1. Roof said : Aim High.
2. Fan Said : Be cool.
3. Clock Said : Every minute, is precious.
4. Mirror said : Reflect before you act.
5. Window Said : See the world
6. Calender Said : Be up to date.
7. Door Said : Push hard to achieve your goals.

Surprisingly, you don't have to look far, cos the answers are always right there in front of you (:

Alrightey, gotta run! See ya (:

 As I check my webmail, I realised that results are out, today August 26, 2008 after 10am.

Did you met your expectation? Did better than you expect? Well, I hope you do, yeah.

Congrats to you, if you did awesomely good this semester, and to those who didn't do that well, there's always the next semester.

I obviously didn't met my expectation, unfortunately. and that spells F-U-C-K

And with that, I shall end this post abruptly.

So last Saturday was my dear l3ella's Birthday!

Happy 25th I3ellaLuna ~ (:

Met up with purple the day before to get presents for her. Settled with a classy red box, and some cookies from famous amos inside! (wanted to do some frosting but I was too busy to do so! =X)

busy unpacking and folding the red box (:

Well, the bbq was at eastcoast, and there were alot alOT ALOT of food! I swear purple and I ate like a glutton that day=X

The bee hoon was nice, the chicken wings were nice, the otah was nice, the stingray was nice, the satay was nice, the cake was nice, EVERYTHING THERE WAS NICE lahh! and then I can't imagine how much calories I put on after that. (insert sad emoticon here!)

butbutbut! me and purple decide to do some exercise(: I biked, while purple blade-ed all the way to bedok jetty. the wind was refreshing and cooling. ahhh nice ~~ perhaps the whole biking and rollerblading session burnt down 2 piece of chicken wing, no? L-O-L !

and and, this post will end with a picture I printed for l3ella ~

cute right?

alrightey, bye! (:

HELP! HELP!

I'm addicted to red bull. Can someone tell me how to curb this addiction? =(

Overslept today; (supposed to wake up at 8, but I key-ed in the wrong alarm time -.-)

PP-ed in the library the whole morning.

Brunch with purple and her friend at Hougang Mall.

Tuition in the afternoon.

Home sweet home.

What a mundane life I'm having, don't I?

I am so happy because I won 3 bucks today! (:

Alrightey, good night earthlings.


Give willingly; and don't expect anything in return. 

AHHHH CHOOOOOO ~~~

Okay, I've been sneezing since morning, and it is super duper fucking irritating! I even dropped tears, due to the itchyness. Pity me can! =(

Anyway, ANdyStorm recommended this site which I thought that it's damn cool. Most of the tests I did, the end results are actually 90% true. Okay, I know these kinds of online personality tests varies because different websites may state completely two different things. However, if it's the same, I don't think it's a coincidence! =X





This song is addictive to the max, and I'm addicted to it. :D

ALrights, that's all for now I guess. Byeee.

Just a picture to share ~~

That was me, 3 plus plus years ago. I was still on neoprints marathon then. There are actually a lot more, but I guess one is enough lah. Okok, I paiseh can? *blush*blush* But I really don't change much, don't I?



I like my hairrrrr then. Reddishh brownn ~~ And Joanna! I miss you lahh. =(



I'm sickly sick! But I don't want to eat medicine. In fact, I hate them, especially the after-taste. YUCKS!





Oh well, 1 and a half hour to my birthday.



Happy 18th Birthday in advance to me! :D

A quick update ~

Like finally I started on my PP. So, hurray for me! I wrote like 3 pages already okay! =X



~ ~ ~ ~



Okay, went to National Library with Yahsee just now to support my school's event booth thingy. Turn out to be sooo -.-



And went to other places too! Will update soon ~~ 

In the mean time, take care and cya!

How could I have burned paradise?

It was never there all along. 

SALUTATIONS!



I'm back, so HIP HIP ... HURRAY ! -.-



And so many things had changed. As I log in into blogger, I realised that the layout has changed! since don't know when. Too long didn't go in blogger, so was ignorant about it. Oops =X

See, nice right? The top bar of the composer has totally changed. Look more professional. Haha, craps.

Anyway, school was alright! EXCEPT for the fact that I've been so unlucky this week. And only God knows why. Eh, no. Not only God, my classmate know it too! Yes, only a classmate, I think =\  It's just that I've been in the same team as the SNORING MAN for two modules. WHAT THE FUCK MAN. Total turn off. I just wished that he could just FUCK OFF and not be in this class.

It's like come on lah, if you don't want people to hate you then you should at least contribute some points, engage in discussions and participate! If you want to play games on your laptop the whole day then WHY THE FUCK YOU COME TO SCHOOL? Go home play lah. FUCKING ASSHOLE. Make me so damn pissed.



~ ~ ~ ~ ~



On another note, I got a free E-voucher from Pizza Hut! Total yay-ness! Anyone want to come eat with me?

I'm turning 18 in a month's time! Weeeee ~~ :D



Okok, I'm not feeling too good now. Been sneezing non-stop lately. AHHH~ stupid flu bug. Andand, WHITE BLOOD CELLS, DO YOUR JOB LAH! Oh, poor me =(





Off to bed.

Well, I got good and bad news. Boo!

Good one is that my parents went to Malaysia to attend my cousin's wedding, which means YAY! (freedom for a night, here I come) But, the bad one is that I got to do housechores =(


On another happier note, finally me and Joanna went out on a date! We went out shopping. She bought a top and a cap, while I bought a half pants.

PICTURES GALORE ~~~

We tried some hats, and apparently these are wayy tooo big for me!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And then off to watch GET SMART ! Highly recommended to all! :D

Steve Carell is so super duper hilarious lah! And and, Hiro Nakamura was caught on screen too!

Then, bus-ed home alone, again. Anyway, I won a 4GB thumbdrive from edirectory! Will post it up soon! :D

In the mean time, this song suits me well right now. Haha. (Okay, only the first few verses -.-)

An empty street,
An empty house,
A hole inside my heart,
I'm all alone, the rooms are getting smaller

I wonder how,
I wonder why,
I wonder where they are,
The days we had,
The songs we sang together(oh yeah).

And ohhh.. my love,
I'm holding on forever,
Reaching for a love that seems so far,

So I say a little prayer,
and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue to see you once again,
My love,
over seas from coast to coast,
to find the place I love the most,
where the fields are green to see you once again,
my love.

I try to read,
i go to work,
i'm laughing with my friends,
but i can't stop to keep myself from thinking(oh no)

I wonder how
I wonder why
I wonder where they are
the days we had, the songs we sang together(oh yeah)

And ohhh.. my love
I'm holding on forever, reaching for a love that seems so far

To hold you in my arms,
To promise you my love,
To tell you from a far
You're all I'm thinking of

Reaching for the love that seems so far

~ ~ ~ ~

Long live westlife! I love their songs till date. Oldies rocks man. :D


OKay then, Oyasuminasai :D

Yours truly,

I've got a wonderful surprise for you. (clickclick)


All my party members died in Orbis PQ while killing Papa! Haha. First time in my history of PQ-ing !

Okay, that's all. HAHA.

A quick update ~

I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to

l3ellaLuna for being such a great Guild Master, and providing me with stuff :D And helping me raid map! Oops =X

purpledem0n for being such a great pal! Thanks for all the treats and helping me with alot of quests!

sadekjf for all you've done for me man! Thanks for sponsoring me with pots, and of course your friendliness! It really touched my heart. =')

SamyBoyz for accompanying me advancing my third job! You've been a really great help! =)


AND FINALLY, CONGRATS TO MYSELF FOR ADVANCING TO THIRD JOB ~ CHIEF BANDIT (clickclick)

I've got an angel too ~

Okay, that's all bye.








Love is a patience game

If you have it, you'll win;
otherwise, you'll lose.

How true. Sigh

YES! finally, the new background is up! And I moved the column and banner abit to the right. (for no reason actually). Looks more neater I guess :D

Anywayyy, do you know what day is today? No? >>


YESYES! World Environment day. As you can see, all the mediacorp channels' logos are GREEN in colour! Save the environment, Save the World! Go green yeah! :D



Anyway, do you read about the French Open recently?! No?


HAHA, It's just that NOVAC DJOKOVIC going to the semis! against RAFAEL NADAL (eekkkk, Eeekkk, EEEKKK) World number 3 against world number 2! AHHHH. Well, in case you forgot who, he's the best Tennis Player lahh! No, not NADAL, DJOKOVIC lah! :D:D

Now remember him? (Somehow he looks like Peter Petrelli right? =X)



But anyway, this is what he said:

“He's been playing better and better. He’s improved I think the serve a lot this year, on clay especially, and he's going for some shots much more. He combines that with his great physical strength and then patience, and it's impressive on this surface. But I don't want to go out there in semis and just try my best. I don't want to do that. I want to win, and I think I have good quality and good chance. I know, of course, he's a favorite, and all the credit to that. But only with a positive attitude and approach in the match I can get the positive outcome.”

AWWWW, you'll go to the finals man! GOGOGO~ :D

Just a video, that Djokovic can actually beat Nadal. :D



(Please be patient while the video loads!)


On another note, currently hooked to Muttons to Midnight! haha. They had been accompanying me with great songs throughout the night! NICE LAHH :D

And for z, my song never play again ahhh. ANGRY! And I didn't hear yours too =X








Your voice was the soundtrack
of my summer :D

Suddenly that song came to mind;
and it reminds me of you.

You'll always be my thunder.

I'll be back soon! :D





Love is not a feeling, it's an ability
Don't you think so?

Founded a cool video. Snake game using the lights of a building.



SNAKE Game in the Student House - video powered by Metacafe

I think it's damn cool lah. :D

I love this picture.

*Credits to ~ennil on deviantART
*Edited by nurulfarhah

CLICK below ~

Okay, that was total randoms. =X

BACK TO SINGAPORE ~~ because their horns don't work!

Haha, I was at a foreign country these few days, and decided to come back to Singapore. I miss my hometown you know. And as soon I reach Singapore, I bought Hokkien Mee and Rambutans because they help me to live! HAHAHAHA.


Okay, enough crapping. Vesak day was spent "like that lor" And and, I got a video to share, say YAY! Please turn on your volume to enjoy maximum level of cuteness ~



"........better, better, better, better, better, AHHHHHH~!!! laa, laaa laaa. tuu tuuu duu tuuu, tuu tuuu duu tuuu. Hey Jude, tuuu tuu duu tuuu, ahhh~ ..." *bows*

THIS KOREAN KID IS UBER CUTE CAN ! And he is only 5 years old!















Anyway, I seriously need to cut down my expenses! Spending too much on food in school makes me broke! (but how? I will feel sian eating $2 chicken rice in school everyday! hmph) I still got a long long list of stuff to buy and it's not cheap! RAWRRR.

Unfortunately, I failed my first Sociology test. I got 8.5/20? That's very bad =( It's very demoralizing yet motivating to have such a result. Demoralizing because I studied for the test and I failed; Motivating because "failure is the mother of success", and thus making me want to study even harder so that I'll get better results!

I need to love Socio, I need to love the faci, I need to love everything about Socio! Dear God, PLEASE let me love Socio~ =S













Oh ya remember that I told you that I came back to Singapore? It's actually Harurul that went to Singapore to train. Good exp! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHA~



Okay, last last. Why do cows use the doorbell? (go to the top of this post)



Alright, you can kill me now. *run*

I just came back from killing Captains and Krus at Herb town =X There was 2x exp and drop rate today and I just can't control myself from logging in. Partying with guild members, and then hunt for good equips, it's too irresistible can!

Alright, I confess. I played Maple for about 5 hours today, yet didn't leveled even once. sadekjf whom is level 97, leveled today with the 2x exp! What the fuck? Alright, why he leveled and I don't? It's because I didn't know where to train lah. I'm super damn noob at training places can! AHHHHHH~














Well, I just read tweety bird's blog! Damn hilarious lah. She is teaching chinese in her blog! Don't believe me? Just check out the picture below. (Click for bigger picture)


I was practically laughing non-stop when I read these. Now, I hope she won't come after me with a parang! (OMG, I feel so bad =X)















Monday no school! Yayness. Randoms. Bye lah.

Love? What exactly is it? Well, love is a very strong, positive feeling towards somebody or something. It is used especially to talk about strong romantic or sexual feelings between people. But behind all this facade, there are so many underlying consequences of love.

On another note, Rascall Flats' What Hurts the Most define clearly what I'm going through now.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I'm okay but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most, is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

Will time heal everything? I doubt so.